August and September 2014 Book Club "Strength in What Remains" and "The Obituary Writer"

Hi Everyone,

What a glorious autumn season we are having here in Western Pennsylvania! If you are struggling to find the motivation to curl up and read a book in the spare moments when the outdoors seems a much more desirable choice, join the club! With the few hours I have in the evenings after work, I want to walk around my sanctuary and nature refuge, the paths at BC3. On my week ends, I want to ride a bike trail and take in the scent of cidery scented apple trees and fresh cut hay or find a fall festival to fill up on kettle corn and taste-test sweet homemade jams or local honey. I have to be part of this wonderful season with every fiber of my being.  I can’t help it; I’m a wandering gypsy at heart. Also, my dosha is vatta and vattas are the earth sign air and need to be in constant motion. So don’t ever feel bad if you find yourself restless and more inclined to be a part of the change that is happening all around you. Take your nose out of the book and experience each day before winter has us in its grips!

The September book club met at Natilie’s Pizzeria to discuss Strength in What Remains by Tracy Kidder. I, as you can gather, was not prepared to discuss this book. This minor detail did not prevent me; however, from attending our meeting and enjoying the conversation and the wonderful friendships we have developed over the last 10 years. It really was a poignant discussion as others in attendance, I’m sure, would agree: Barb K., Becky, Cheryl, Ginnie, Lori, and Mandy. 

The subject of Pulitzer Prize winning author Tracy Kidder’s biography “Deo” Niyizonkiza is a saint for our times, a native born African who endured the civil war and genocides of his homeland before finding his way to America and overcoming homelessness and bigotry. Those who are honored to know, work, and call Deo their friend, understand first-hand the true spirit of this man, while those of us that have only read about him in Kidder’s book are also affected by his amazing story and journey.

At September’s book club, we were lucky to have a Face Time interview with Cheryl’s sister Sharon who is a personal friend of Deo’s. She enlightened us on Deo’s high energy personality and his unstoppable mission toestablish an entirely community-driven health care organization called Village Health Works in Burundi. Sharon has visited this health community in Africa and volunteered at the center. She has seen first-hand Deo’s passionate spirit, and she believes that he will one day win a Nobel Peace Prize for his commitment to humanitarian labors. It was clear in talking with Sharon that her time in Burundi was life-changing, the experience is still fresh in her heart. Her voice was shaken and her eyes welled as she explained the needs of the people in this region of Africa. She spoke of Deo with deep admiration and respect, sharing how his laughter is infectious, just as necessary to the healing of his patients as the treatments he offers at the center. As Sharon talked, I couldn’t help but hear the words from the Bible’s first book of John 1:14, “…and He dwelt among us, full of grace and truth.” I’m sure Sharon would affirm that Deo is living out his life in such a way that the spirit of God is shining and working through him.

The Obituary Writer by Ann Hood was our August title. For our last summer meeting, we chose to dine outdoors and so selected the Saxonburg Hotel. Although it was a very sultry evening, we enjoyed our discussion with seating on a prime corner of the restaurant’s patio overlooking the cozy main street of the town. Lori, Becky, Mandy, Barb K. and I were in attendance. We all agreed that the book was a winner as we recounted our favorite parts and analyzed the main characters Claire, a disillusioned housewife, and Vivien, the obituary writer. 

Weaving back and forth between two time settings, the author spiced up the book’s imagery with allusions to the pop culture icons and beliefs of each period. Claire, trying to conform to the lifestyle of a 1960’s housewife after jet-setting as an airline stewardess, falls prey to the propaganda of her day. Encouraged by women’s magazines the likes of Good Housekeeping and Better Homes and Gardens to cater to their husbands, Claire rises to her duty and attempts to be the perfect wife. 

However, Claire becomes ensnared in a tedium of meaningless luncheons, dinner parties, PTA meetings, and volunteerism. She vicariously finds an escape from her grim prospects as a woman of her time through her obsession with John F. Kennedy’s election and his inauguration, especially focusing on his beautiful wife Jackie and their adorable children, the perfect American family. Likewise, Claire’s more insidious distraction from her world is through an extramarital affair. Her involvement with a married man is exposed when her husband arrives home from work and discovers Claire and her lover having sex in their bed!

Claire’s trapped existence may have rooted from her childhood. Claire’s mother imparted her beliefs about marriage as a minister would impart a sermon.  After reading aloud the beginning of chapter 6, “What Her (Claire’s) Mother Taught Her” we laughed out loud,and to our surprise, a random group of people sitting at the table next to us laughed, too.It was a litany of all the things Claire’s mother believed a wife needs to know: 

·        * Moisturize daily and never go to bed with your makeup on; if you put Vaseline on your hands and a pair of white cotton gloves over them your hands will always be soft; a man likes soft hands.

·        * Always get up before your husband, so you can do your own morning routine in private. Make yourself look pretty and have is breakfast ready when he wakes up.

·        Keep up on current events; agree with your husband’s opinion, even if you think he’s a horse’s ass for believing that.

·        * Buy fresh lard and use it in fried chicken, pie crusts, and 7-minute frosting; the key to a perfect dinner is to serve meat with a starch and a vegetable and to always have candlelight.

·        * Know how to sew a hem, darn a sock, replace a button – these skills make you indispensable.

·        * Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink or cigarette butts in the ashtray.

·        Never refuse your husband’s sexual desires.

·        * Get your hair done every week.

·        * When asked to bring something to a dinner party, bring it on a plate that you can leave as a gift.

·      * Always let the man drive.

·        * Men take out the trash and mow the lawn.

·        * Always wait for the man to open a door for you and light your cigarette.

·        * A woman needs to know how to swim, skate, and ride a bike.

·        * Women never swear in front of men.

·        * Honey goes out the window when there is no money.

·        * A woman knows how to live on a budget, to stretch a dollar, and to cook hamburger meat 6 different ways.

After I finished reading, an elderly gentlemen at the table wanted to know where his wife could buy the book, expressing that she could do with picking up a few tips!

The time period for Vivian, the obituary writer, begins decades earlier than Claire’s.It commences in San Francisco during the early 1900’s, at the time of the disastrous earthquake. Vivian, also in the clutches of a romantic affair, loses the love of her life, a married man, during the disaster. She spends many years believing he survived, possibly wandering about in a state of amnesia. While she waits hoping for his return, she writes obituaries. In the end, she admits it was a means of comforting herself as well as her grieving clients. 

Vivian and Claire’s life surprisingly merge together; Claire’s life mirrors Vivian’s. The older woman sees herself in the other, her squandered years. Vivian’s advice to Claire, “Don’t waste your one beautiful life.”  Vivian had learned “what matters is life itself, not the dates, the degrees”… the cars, the outfits, the jewelry, the casseroles, the Waldorf salads, the pie crusts or the Cheez Wiz. We are left to wonder how Claire will assimilate Vivian’s counsel. Hood compels us to create our own ending. 

I hope to see you all tonight at 6 PM, Wednesday, October 15, at Natilie’s Pizzeria for our discussion of the novel War Brides by Helen Bryan. This one was definitely a page turner and worth the late night reading marathons. I’ve come to love the characters as my friends and don’t want to see our relationship end, so I’m holding out for our final meeting, the conclusion, as an after school treat!

Yours in reading,

Tammy